This is what happens when you don't keep score

I read an article about the recent uptick in mass killings. The conclusion is that these people are suicidal and seeking revenge for some perceived wrong. The thing is the perceived wrong is usually a normal everyday occurrence that all of us experience sooner or later: loss of a job, loss of love, loss of what ever. This inability to cope with loss should come as no surprise. People are raising their kids in an environment where there are no losers, everyone is always a winner, and everyone is always right. Some people want to protect their kids from disappointment and coddle their self-esteem. The problem is that in the real world everyone loses sooner or later and sometimes you're wrong. So it should come as no surprise that when kids have never had to learn to cope with disappointment growing up, they will be unable to deal with disappointment constructively as adults. The difference being that as children we can help direct them in constructive directions and help them learn to cope with disappointment whereas as adults, they are on their own to deal with it, which can easily result in catastrophic results by not having the skills or parental support and guidance.

Keep score in kids sports. Losing is an important life lesson in how to roll with it and use it constructively as motivation to work at improving for next time. Learn that you aren't always right. Learn that sometimes it is you and not the other person to blame. Learn this as kids when the disappointments are trivial and the repercussions minor in order to be able to constructively handle the major disappointments that life throws at us as adults when the stakes are higher. Self-esteem built on being shielded from real life is not self-esteem but a recipe for disaster when eventually reality is inescapable.